Monday, October 24, 2011

October 24, 2011

Fair warning; this won’t make much sense. Or any sense, actually.

My word of the day is “something”.

Why do we use that word, “something”? Shouldn’t it be “allthing”?
I wonder, you see, because I gave up something to get something. 

But wait, shouldn’t one give up something for “allthing”?
Ah, that’s not the way it works. Not in this world. This universe. This life.
Somewhere, in some parallel universe, allthing exists.

The first something, we’ll call something number one, wasn’t necessarily exactly everything that it could have been. That something, was lacking something, but mostly just something. In most other ways, that something, was really something. Oh sure, it was also polluted with lots of little things that made it something else occasionally. But then again, something always has things like that. But that something, was still missing that something.

And so, that something got traded in for something else. Something we’ll call, something number two.

Something number two is really something, in oh so many ways. It really is something.
But, what if something number two is lacking something as well? Not the same thing that something number one lacks, but something else, something different, something that something number one may have had?

Oh, the somethings…

You know what’s funny about somethings? And not funny- haha, but funny-weird, uncomfortable, displeasing, ironic…
What’s funny about somethings, is that they are never allthings.
If they were, they wouldn’t be called somethings.

And yet, even though these are only somethings, they affect all things. Am I the only one looking that irony scathingly in the eye and shouting angrily- “How is it that allthing doesn’t exist, but  just one something, or a few little somethings can affect all things!?!?” Gah!

But I digress…

Something number one and something number two...
Fact is, they’re both something. Neither one is an allthing.
Which is what I would call them, if they were, even if it weren’t a word.
Which is what they should be.
But they are not.
They’re just something one and something two. Made up of lots of little things, lacking some other things, not quite equating to an allthing, yet effecting all things.

Oh, the irony.

I should go to sleep. Or work on homework. Or watch Two and a Half Men.
Or something.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Here I stand on this proverbial plank,
over an infinite blue abyss.
Jump, it whispers.
I can't
But you can, it replies.
And so I do...

Saturday, October 1, 2011

September 19, 2011

As far as last night's note... I think I was just overtired. 
Those alpha brain waves kicking in and wreaking havoc.
But I thought about it. Was even questioned about it.
And so I want to clarify.

Logan and Dawson are both miracles.
But I've never felt close to God.  

In "sagacity", I was going more for the interpreted definition and not the literal.
To revel in someone else's common sense, or way of thinking, that is different from my own.
Maybe I was actually saying I wanted to crawl into someone else's brain for a while, and out of my own. 

I'm not brilliant. But I long to be.
I wish I would have been born a Nobel prize winner or something. 
Maybe then I would have lived a smarter life. 

I live in trepidation.
Everything is cautious (well, aside from the most recent life's decisions).
I want to feel reckless once. Just once. Ok, maybe twice.
Maybe that's what this is. I don't know. 

I did feel, unabashedly, for a time. The newness of a young love.
But again, I think I was speaking on a broader level.
More about miracles. Feeling miracles. Feeling something bigger and more powerful than you or me. 
But alas, I doubt anything like that to exist. 
There is no feeling anything other than what we experience day in and day out. 
Breathe, eat, sleep. 
"Smell the roses"... Ok, now what? 
They smell good. 
That is all. 

Being profound; reading, writing, living profoundly...
The suggestion to read Dalai Lama is probably appropriate.
However, I think he would just inspire the aforementioned feeling.
And without tangible evidence that the feeling is justified.
And therein lies the conflict. 

I'm already experiencing a change and an earthquake in life.
I've lived through several of them, actually.
So I have no idea what that was all about.

And that is all.
Have a nice day.

September 18, 2011

I want to read profound things. 
WRITE profound things.
Make a difference; perceive a difference.
Affect a change.
Or a miracle.
I want to be enlightened. Be edifying.
I want to live slightly on the wild side, instead of vicariously through "Desperate Housewives".
I want to sing. Again. Loudly.
I want to be brilliant. 
Revel in anothers' sagacity.
I want to have intellectual intercourse.
I want the wind in my face, on a motorcycle, without the drastic risk of skin graphs.
I want to be swept away.
In a whirlwind of hopless-romantic-ridiculous-passionate abandon. 
Daily, please.
I want to really truly feel. Unabashedly. Without trepidation.
I need a little earthquake. Just a small one.

Wow, I should really get some sleep.  :)