Dating Site Dilemma

Admittedly, I belong to a couple of dating sites. Why? Gawd only knows.

I’m not sure why I keep my profiles up, I rarely answer messages, and I've only gone on a date with two guys since I've been a member (the last 9 months or so).

I wrote a detailed profile for each site. Mostly, probably, just because I love to write. But also because I wanted to convey an inclusive description of who I am and who I am looking for (and am not looking for). It’s lengthy, and I often get comments about that (in the messages that I do actually open).

So, I’ve written a lengthy description, I often update pictures, and in general, I pay fairly close attention to my profile, tweaking it every now and again. But I often wonder why, when I rarely ever answer messages? Why, when most messages I just delete without even opening them? Why, when I’m hesitant to actually go out and meet someone even if I might be remotely interested?

While at the convenience store the other night, a man came up to me and said- “I recognize you, I know you.” My response was a bit curt, as he wasn’t familiar to me, I was grouchy from having just left work for the night, and am not fond of strange men approaching me out of the blue (which, I know, is a bit of a hindrance to actually being able to meet someone… but anyway...) “I’m a bartender. I get that a lot”.
He said- “No, no… you’re happy.” Raising one eyebrow I replied, “Oh, I am?”  And he said again, “Oh, no no..” and then looking around and whispering (as if we were exchanging trade secrets), “Happy… the happy grouch.”
“Ohhhh,” I said, “yes, that I am. That’s me.”
I may have rolled my eyes.

Immediately I felt as if he had breached dating site etiquette. I don’t know if it’s an actual rule, and if it is, where it came from, but I’ve gathered that, if you see someone in public from a dating site you belong to, it’s generally unacceptable to approach them and be like- “Oh hey, I know you from!” I have been in a similar situation before. By our glances, we both knew that he recognized me, and I recognized him. But we said nothing, and played coy when our mutual friends introduced us.

I managed to avoid any further conversation with the convenience store man, probably by way of my unapproachable attitude, and we both said our goodnights and turned and left in opposite directions.

And so, it once again begs the question, why do I belong to the dating sites, and maintain an active and constantly updated profile, when I refrain from using them to their fullest potential?


But I know that they work; I met my third ex-husband on Plenty of Fish.
I love that admission; it gives me a good giggle.