Sunday morning coffee and blogging, since I'm desperately looking for distractions from Christmas shopping...

Seriously, though.. I need to stop shopping. I lack control. Christmas is a killer for me financially, every. single. year. Perhaps that's part of the reason I have three ex-husbands.
I'm going to complain about finances, and you can all say the same thing I've said to myself- Well, Crista, if you hadn't spent so much money on Christmas, you wouldn't be in this position. I know, I know. So, maybe I won't complain about the electric bill, the cell bill, the cable bill, the propane bill, all sitting on my dining table, waiting to be paid out of the small savings account that was supposed to buy new tires for my truck. Oh wait, I think I just complained about it. Ok, say it with me now... Well, Crista, if you hadn't spent so much money on Christmas, you wouldn't be in this position...
Moving on.

Aside from the potential financial crisis (say it with me now... Well, Crista, if you hadn't spent so much money on Christmas, you wouldn't be in this position), I am actually looking forward to Christmas. I am happy to have been able to buy some very nice gifts for my children. Yes, Christmas is not about presents, it's not about the commercialized crap, blah blah blah... But if you have children, you know the deal. Buying for them is important, regardless of all those idealistic philosophies. Yes, I believe that Christmas is about more.. it's about family, being grateful, about the love and the spirit.. And, about presents for my kiddos. But even as excited as I am for Christmas, I am also melancholy. I am sad a lot, actually. Most of the time, really. About a lot of things. I am a happy-sad person, always. Conflicted, constantly.
I digress...
It does feel a bit different this year. Ok, a lot different.
It's just Dawson and I this year. No siblings, no spouse, no cats and dogs... I mean, I'll see all my extended family on our Christmas gathering, so we will have that. And Mom and Logan are coming Christmas eve day, so we'll have that as well. But, you know what I mean. Christmas is very different for us this year. Life, in general, is very different for us.
Moving on.

It's a little under a year before the presidential election. Dear Lord, please help me to maintain all of my friendships for the next 11 months.

I have several days off this week. What will I do with myself???? Well, I'll still be doing bar banking and liquor orders and such, two days this week, but I don't actually get back behind the bar again until Saturday. I offered to open later Christmas day. Mainly to give myself something to do, since Daws will be going back to his Dad's at noon. But we are going to be closed Christmas day. It's probably best. But, but, but... What will I do???? Sigh.
Netflix. Food. Couch. Pajamas. On Christmas day. Probably a recipe for a mini pity party.

I throw those parties for myself a lot lately.
Life is funny. Not funny ha ha. It's the strangest feeling, to live every day, not knowing what your future looks like. When you used to just know what it looked like. Or at least assumed, kind of subconsciously, what it looked like... In your home, or at your job, or with your partner.. Not knowing what the future looks like, I mean- truly being highly aware of it's uncertainty, is one of the strangest, most foreign, and scariest feelings ever.
Moving on.

Watching Daws play basketball this year has been one of the funnest things in life so far. Everything about it is fun. Watching him, watching all the boys he's grown up with... They are all so good to each other. Their attitudes, their great sportsmanship, their support of one an other.. As they were complimented at an away game recently- They sure are classy. And Daws has come so far. He's gaining more confidence, improving his skills, and having fun. I am so glad I made him stick with it. I think he probably is too.

Earlier this week I watched a special on one of the morning shows about list making. Not like grocery lists, or to-do lists.. but lists with more meaning.. Bucket lists, wish lists, etc etc etc... And they had a funny list too, a "Things to do when hell freezes over" list... And so I thought it would be fun to do...
I invite you to make one, too. It's actually quite entertaining, and a little bit therapeutic. One may not know exactly what they want in the moment, or in life, but one thing (some things) we do know, are the things we don't want. It's kind of the reverse way of figuring out what you do want. If that makes any sense at all. Somehow, it does to me.
So without further ado, my personal "Things To Do When Hell Freezes Over" list...
(And just so we're quite clear, when hell freezes over, meaning, I'll never, ever, ever do.. Funny, or comical. Sorry, not sorry. At all, really)

Things to do When Hell Freezes Over:

Quit drinking coffee
Drink decaf coffee
Do drugs (not that I haven't, because I have, I just won't go back there)
Get on a plane
Quit swearing
Get on a cruise ship
Vote to legalize (sorry, not sorry)
Stop singing
Stop touching/slapping people's butts
Live as an alcoholic
Live with an alcoholic (or addict of any kind)
Stop farting
Apologize for farting
Apologize for anything, really (Ok, maybe if it's a life or death situation, I will)
Make Nana J's homemade, three hour stuffing again. Ever, ever, ever.
Live in another property that doesn't allow pets
Stop eating bacon
" " pizza
" " chocolate
Shave my legs every day (sorry, not sorry)
Vote for Trump
Vote Republican (sorry, not sorry)
Grow up
Be an active participant at a nude beach
Stop coloring my grays
Compromise my principles
Stop spending so much money at Christmas time

And with that, I will close. I should probably go do laundry, or dishes, or something productive. Stay off Amazon. Maybe watch some Netflix or Hulu. Wait for the boy to come home from his Dad's so I can suck the life out of him.
Norman Bates's mother.
Poor kid. Hopefully I haven't ruined him.

Merry friggin Christmas!