Random thoughts over 5am coffee....
I hate cold weather. I mean, really, really, really, reeeeeeeeeally
hate it.
I don't know if I can pull off singing hard rock. I mean, I
like to listen to it, I just don't know if I can sing it. I used to think- oh that stuff is right in my
range.. no problem. Truth is, those male rockers scream and holler and half the
time in an octave than I can’t handle. Crap. But, I'm gonna try like hell, and
we'll see how silly it sounds. That is.. IF I can get these six tunes learned,
by tomorrow night! ugh.. And then I wonder... Am I past my prime? Am I too old
for this??
I’m super stressed about tomorrow night and the new band tryout. I’m trying them out, and they’re trying me out. I won’t know anyone there. It’s out of my comfort zone. It’s music that I’ not confident in.
Am I… (gasp)… nervous?
Part of me hopes that I won’t like them, or their skill level, or their personalities.. Part of me hopes that they plain suck, and I will just go on my merry way. Then there’s the other part of me that hopes that they are super awesome, and this kicks off something really cool.
And this is just another good example of how I over-think things before they even come to fruition.
I’m super stressed about tomorrow night and the new band tryout. I’m trying them out, and they’re trying me out. I won’t know anyone there. It’s out of my comfort zone. It’s music that I’ not confident in.
Am I… (gasp)… nervous?
Part of me hopes that I won’t like them, or their skill level, or their personalities.. Part of me hopes that they plain suck, and I will just go on my merry way. Then there’s the other part of me that hopes that they are super awesome, and this kicks off something really cool.
And this is just another good example of how I over-think things before they even come to fruition.
I'm not accustomed to spousal refusal (a phrase we used to
use in the car sales biz).. Either because I didn't have a spouse, or because,
when I did, I ruled the house in perfect totalitarian fashion. What is this
compromise stuff? It is still so foreign (and slightly uncomfortable). Perhaps
that's why I'm on my third marriage.
It's the start of my work week (yes, I am fortunate that I
only work a few days a week, for now). However, I've noticed that since I took
on the managerial role, even when I am not at work, my mind is there. Every
day. I am constantly thinking about what's happening there.. how are our sales
today.. Should I order more liquor or stretch it out.. How's the kitchen
doing.. Constantly strategizing ways to make the business better, more
efficient, make more money for the bosses, etc, etc, etc... I stop by quite
often even when I don’t need to be there... And I'm not saying that any of this
is a bad thing, I am just noticing the difference.. I don't just show up for
work anymore. I'm invested.
I also hate splinters.
When Dawson discovered my new playlist on Spotify, titled “Potential band”… He said (laughing)- “Mom, I didn’t think you even knew who “Royal Blood’ was!” I was like- “Of course I do, I’m totally cool like that!”
Truth be told, I didn’t know who they were. I only had their song in my playlist because it was one of the songs that the guys sent me to potentially learn. Turns out it’s pretty cool though. And now, so am I, evidently.
When Dawson discovered my new playlist on Spotify, titled “Potential band”… He said (laughing)- “Mom, I didn’t think you even knew who “Royal Blood’ was!” I was like- “Of course I do, I’m totally cool like that!”
Truth be told, I didn’t know who they were. I only had their song in my playlist because it was one of the songs that the guys sent me to potentially learn. Turns out it’s pretty cool though. And now, so am I, evidently.
It must be the winter blues, or doldrums, or seasonal
affective disorder, or whatever… But I have a longing. And I’m not even sure
what for. But a longing, for something.
Maybe just more coffee.
Maybe just more coffee.