Wow, I haven't written in a while.
Well, I guess that's not entirely true... I had written, twice, I think, and then deleted the posts. Too much, too soon. But fear not, readers, it will be re-written again, all in due time.
But for now, just a quick update for all you voyeurs out there, and a little venting session for myself.
As you all well know, I am still on the mad hunt for appropriate housing for my family.
We had an opportunity recently to enter into a lease agreement on a rent-to-own property. Although the home was nice (albeit a bit small), I just couldn't go into it with a commitment to purchase in two years. Firstly, we probably wouldn't credit-qualify for financing by then, and secondly, the home had an outrageous price-tag. And so, we'd just end up moving again in two years. And as much as it would have solved our immediate housing issue, it just wasn't the right decision for us.
And so, since I have now overstayed my welcome in this house, Dawson and I will temporarily move into Troy's apartment while we continue to look for a home for all of us (We think we have one lined up, but it will not be ready until July 1st).
Although this sounds like a relatively easy solution to our problems, it is by far not so easy...
I am trying to figure out how to move all of my belongings into storage. Or, rent portable storage units to leave here temporarily, IF I obtain permission from the property owner. Either way, I will incur expenses from the storage, and potentially renting a uhaul if I don't use portables.
And then- what fun!- I'll get to pay for a uhaul all over again when it's time to move all the crap to the new house, if I don't use the portables.
The portables come with convenience, but also concern... safety of our items, cost...
So... rent a uhaul and move it all to storage, and then rent a uhal again to move it all out? Or portables? Argh!!!!
Many of you have offered to help, but realistically, we know how difficult it is to gather a group of people and trucks, all at the same time (with everyone's busy lives), and get it all done. It just seems far too overwhelming.
This also means I will have to begin driving Dawson to and from school in Glenburn every day. But then again, I was prepared to do that once we moved out of Glenburn, so it will be good practice for the next couple years.
Not to mention, the dogs cannot come with us to the apartment. Mom has graciously offered to take them into her home for the next few months. Although, she is gone to Portland every other weekend, and so I will have to figure out what to do for the dogs on those weekends. I am hoping Logan will agree to stay at her house every other weekend. I'm sure some cold hard cash will persuade her. I'm also hoping that the boys don't get too confused or stressed out with their temporary living arrangements. Mom's trailer is tight enough with her and her two dogs, and all her stuff, as it is. It's not ideal, but it's our only option.
And moving TWICE. Ugh. Enough said about that.
And hopefully it won't be SO disruptive for all of us (me, Troy, and the kids as well) that we all stress out and kill each other.
~Brief off-topic, speaking of the dogs... Herc's orthopedic issues have gotten progressively worse this winter. He is having a harder and harder time getting around, and yet he is still so happy and goofy... It is SO MADDENING to know that his mind and spirit are still so young, and yet his body is failing him. I am afraid I will have to put him down before another winter comes. I hate this. I am crying just writing it. He has been the one constant man in my life for the last several years; my one consistent source of love and comfort.
These added moving/storage expenses weren't such a panic button until recently... when I discovered that my hours were getting cut at my day job. I have lost one day shift for now (Wednesdays), and will evidently be losing another one (Fridays), perhaps as often as bi-weekly, starting sometime next month. The new owners have decided they want to work those days, so that they have more of a presence there. I understand that. However, there are many shifts to choose from. It stinks that they chose mine. I've suspected that I am "on my way out" there for a while now, since I am the low/new man on the totem pole. But I had hoped that wasn't the case. I feel that I am slowly getting pushed/phased out, as apposed to having to directly fire me.
This couldn't have happened at a more inopportune time for us. Regardless of how I felt about the job, I was fully willing to push forward and make the most of it, since we truly need that income now. Financially, it makes sense for me to look for another job. I guess I will have to.
Besides all the current stressors in life, other things are going pretty okay...
Dawson is doing well, given all the upheaval for us right now. It still amazes me how resilient children are. Of course it gets to him sometimes too, but he has better coping skills than I give him credit for, and probably far better coping skills than I do. He has genuinely missed Troy, and it is obvious how relieved he is that we are a family again. He is looking forward to once again living with his sister. He tells Troy he loves him, unprovoked, every day. It reaffirms my decisions.
Logan is doing well, from what I gather. She is excelling in college, and I am so proud of her. She's back to work now as well, so I will probably see her even less than I already do. I don't know when she grew up and flew the nest. Why does that have to happen?
And Troy and I, well, we probably couldn't be doing any better. I don't know what "clicked" for us this time around, but something did. Perhaps those many months apart were just what we needed... To work on ourselves individually, to recognize the absence of one another, to see the changes we needed to make for ourselves and for each other... Instead of trying to psycho-analyze it (which I always do), I'm just going to try and simply be thankful for it.
Hell, we are both under a TON of stress right now, and we haven't killed each other. That's gotta count for something. :)
Well, I suppose I've wasted enough of the day. Time to get back to work around here.