Saturday, October 9, 2010

Has it really been two months since I’ve written? Yes, sadly, it has.
I’ve thought about writing. Especially recently. To share the wonder that I’ve been experiencing. Yes folks, for once, it would have been to spread sunshine and happiness. Ironic, isn’t it?
As it turns out, I should have written when I had the inclination.

One of the questions I am constantly asked as of late goes something like this- “How do you know?”
My answer has always been- “I just do”.

I’ve been in love before, just like everyone else. You know it when you feel it, even though it happens so rarely and so infrequently. It’s a knowing. It comes upon you, it fills you, it encompasses you. If you’re fortunate to find it more than once, it happens differently every time. But you still know. At least that’s how it has happened for me.

And I was reminded again this morning of how “I know“. But this time, it is in grief that the knowing comes.

I met someone within these last few months. His name is Troy.
Troy’s Mom passed away unexpectedly this morning.

I went to him as soon I knew. I stayed with him for as long as he would let me. And then he needed to be alone in his grief. And so, as much as I hated to, I left him.

I never had the opportunity to meet the woman who raised such a beautiful man.

So now I have a new way to express my answer when asked “How do you know?”
I know. Because I feel his grief, his anger, his pain, and his loss. I feel it in my very bones. Right in the core of me.

If only I had the power to bottle all of the world’s love and strength for him.

And so, I know. I just do.