March 20, 2010

Work, work, and more work.
I know I complain about it often, but really.. Who wouldn’t? I’m sick of working 60 hours a week, every week. And have I mentioned yet- I hate the weekends? Yesterday I left the house for work at 8 am. I got home at 1am. Today I open the bank. Then it’s back to the bar tonight.  Wah, wah, wah…
My Mom (pleasantly) reminds me that the only alternative is to sell the house and buy something cheaper, or win the megabucks.
Since neither of those things are likely to happen, I’ll just keep on keeping on.
As Dori (from “Finding Nemo”) would say “Just keep swimming, just keep swimming….”

Someone asked me at work last night- so Crista, how’s your love life? I happened to be mid-sip on my Tim Horton’s coffee.. Needless to say, they nearly wore it when I busted out laughing.
But that got me thinking… (as usual)…
How IS my love life? Or better spoken, my lack thereof?
Well, it’s not pretty.
It’s not the fun, independent single life that some of my girlfriends claim to live. It’s not enjoyable, care-free, spontaneous, empowering, or any of those things either…
Quite simply, it’s just plain lonely.

Even though I am super busy with jobs, kids, household running… It still feels like there’s this little void.. Like a tiny itch that you can’t reach in the middle of your back.. Or a slight headache, one that’s not bad enough to take Tylenol for, but just kind of sits there, one that you tolerate…

So how’s my love life?

I went on a couple dates early on in my “single hood“… With a guy who I knew right away was TOTALLY the wrong guy. But I still hung out with him. To fill the tiny void. That fizzled quickly. Which was very fortunate.

About a month ago, I ended a perfectly good love affair. Not with a complete stranger, mind you… (I’m not “that girl”)… Someone I know. Someone close to me..
It felt good. It occupied the time. It gave me the warm and fuzzies, even if only infrequently. It was actually quite nice. It filled a little bit of that tiny void. Maybe more than “a little bit”…
So why did I end it?
Because there was no future in it? Because it wasn’t “going anywhere?”
Well, that was part of it…
But mostly because, like many women, I evidently have the inability to separate sex from emotion.

And then I had a couple of dates recently. With a perfectly nice guy, I suppose.
But I couldn’t figure out if I actually liked him. I spent so much time thinking about it in fact, that eventually I just stopped taking his phonecalls. And eventually, he just stopped calling.

So far, I’m doing really well with this single thing.

And now, it’s off to work I go.
My social life consists of the bar, the bank, and face book.

Have a nice day everyone.
And don’t forget the Pretty Woman Expo at Jeff’s Catering in Brewer today, from 12-4. Lots of vendors, lots of stuff…
The perfect way for a single woman to spend her afternoon. Sigh.