Friday, February 18, 2011

I couldn't sleep last night. I couldn't sleep this morning.
It might have had something to do with the masssive amounts of coffee I consumed yesterday, my last cup being at midnight.
Although it might have been because my brain just won't shut off.

I'm on vacation. Six days off from work. I don't think I've ever had a real vacation before. I plan to thoroughly enjoy the next several days. That is, if I can get my brain to shut off.

I have been asked to take in another Dane.
Because of the personal nature of the situation, I can't say much about it, other than that saying No to this Dog (and it's humans) would be like turning away family.
My knee-jerk reaction was- Of course! Take the dog! No questions, no hesitations!
Then I remembered that I was part of a team. And teams work together. Teams make decisions together. At least that's what they're supposed to do. 
Which, as my history has shown, I've never been terribly good at.

I am well aware of all the stress it could potetnailly add to our lives...
There's the added expenses. More food, more vet bills...
There's the typical inconveniences of being a multi-dog household...
Watching the two dogs closely so that Herc doesn't play and injure himself. Letting them out at separate times. Constantly monitoring them.  No one to pet sit TWO huge dogs when we want to go away. Crating both dogs while we're out of the house. Annoying horseplay. 
A LOT more drool and hair, a LOT less space in the family living room.

Thing is, I've been wanting another Dane for a while now.
We fostered Brandy last fall with the intent to keep her. Unfortunately, Brandy turned out to be a trainwreck. A completely unstable dog, whom we couldn't trust or tolerate. And so she was just a foster, until her forever home was found.
And lately, I've been scowering the internet, looking for puppies.
I've kicked myself on a number of ocassions for not keeping two out of my litter.
Then this "opportunity" comes along. This is a good dog. A great dog. And they are in need right now.

Why would I want another big huge drooly dog?
I don't know.
Maybe it's because I'm depressed about Herc's illness.
I'm depressed because we can't do the things we used to do together. He can't run and play with us. Go for long walks. Get in and out of the car to go shopping and visiting around town.
And I'm depressed because I think of how early in life I might lose him.
Maybe it's just because Danes are addictive.
Maybe it's just because I'm nuts.
Who knows.
But I have to make this decision. And soon. 

I'm terribly unhappy at the bank. I want to make a move, but I can't yet afford to.

I need to take my entrance exam for school. I haven't cracked a book in 20 years. And I can't understand why x and y have to be put next to numbers, or what the hell I'm supposed to do with them.
I'm panicing.

I am going away this morning. We're going to Mohegan Sun for the weekend. And probably the Crystal mall. A nice hotel. Maybe Mysitc village shopping. Some gambling.
Then we are taking all the kiddos to Portland for a couple days.

I am waiting for my brian to shut off, so I can get excited.