tHe haPPy grOUch

tHe haPPy grOUch

Friday, July 31, 2015

Random 5am thoughts...
Actually, they begin at 5 AM. They spilled over to the 10 AM mark. Truth is, they'll last all day and into the night. Rinse, wash, repeat.
But I digress...


Next time I go on vacation, I'm leaving state. Addendum; next time I go on vacation, I will leave state, and bring nothing but my dog. Oh, and coffee and cigarettes. 


Does facebook (Twitter, Instagram, Flickr, etc.) have some substantial meaning or purpose? No. However, your social media outlet is a direct representation of yourself. You can tell what's important to a person based on what they share... Alternatively, a lack of interest/investment based on what they DON'T share.
If you post about partying all the time, you look like a partier.. Drugs.. a druggy. Drama.. a drama queen. Drinking… a drunk. If your posts are always about yourself, you look like a narcissist. Constant posts expressing your overzealous opinion on politics, religion, and all other things controversial make you seem combative. Ironically, -and pay attention here- the more you try to convince others of your position, the less believable/sincere your position becomes. You've all seen my replies to these fervent arguments on facebook- "I like bacon." Don't get me wrong, I have an opinion, a position, on many of these debates, and a mighty long list of others. I just don't enjoy the idea of arguing them in such an open forum (I was never on the debate team in school). I prefer to discuss much more personal information, as evidenced in these blogs. ;-)
And now you will say I sound judgmental. But how can I not be when these are the ways people represent themselves? Look at your Facebook (Twitter, Instagram, Flickr, etc.) page- What do you want YOUR face to look like?
I'll admit, mine is a mess. And that's probably pretty accurate.


I tried putting myself on a budget this week (budgeting is a lifestyle I am not accustomed to). It lasted two days. 


Tending bar has always been one of the funnest, most diverse, nonconforming, and enjoyable jobs I've ever had. It has also been the most challenging in terms of stress, tolerance, patience, and mental/emotional (and physical) wear and tear. Managing a bar has brought both of those points to an entirely new level.

When did I become so much like my father? I mean, I've always been like him. But recently it seems more so. More grumpy, less tolerant. When did he finally start to "mellow"? At what point will I?
And when did I become so much like my mother? So conservative? She wasn't always that way. Neither was I, for that matter.


I have (emotionally) struggled more in the last six months than I have in much of my life. I desperately want a quiet mind, home, peace. Limbo is a nasty place to live.


I've smoked three quarters of a pack of cigarettes since 5 AM this morning. Like much else in my life, evidently I am no good at anything in moderation.

Time for work.