tHe haPPy grOUch

tHe haPPy grOUch

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Ahhh, home from vacation.
Where we spent and made money, all in the emotional whirlwind known as gambling. You're up, you're down, you're up, you're down... Wash, rinse, repeat. And that, my friends, is supposed to be fun.
All kidding aside though, it was a nice vacation. Just the husband and I, enjoying a nice big suite at the casino, expensive meals/shows/trinkets, lots of quality time...
And then, the return home.
Back to life. To the dishwasher, the laundry, bills, dogs, annoying children.. Did I mention the dishwasher?
To dissidence, adversity, dissatisfaction, vexation, despondency...

Really.. who loads and unloads their dishwasher three times in less than 48 hours? I do.
These last few weeks I started playing a new game. A game I like to call "Let's see how long it takes for this to get picked up- put away- cleaned- changed- taken out- taken care of...." Well, the end result was always the same, as you can probably predict... It takes as long as I can stand before I cave and do it myself.

Dissidence, adversity, dissatisfaction, vexation, despondency...

Then there's money (speaking of vacation, gambling, money)...
I once retired from managing the bills. Because, as it turns out, I wasn't doing very well at paying the bills. Funny thing is, they're still not getting paid. Huh.
And money... the root of all evil... My husband always has it. I seem to never have it. I'm still not sure how that works.

Dissidence, adversity, dissatisfaction, vexation, despondency...

Now I'd like to change topics... This next topic is "privacy". More specifically, how that topic walks (or doesn't walk) hand-in-hand with marriage.
Oh, I DO believe there should be privacy within a marriage. Privacy, as in- I'm on the phone with my mother and we're having a gossip session about my sister. Or, privacy as in- my best friend and I are talking about her sex life. Or, privacy as in- I'm taking a big stinky poop and I'm about to wipe, or better yet, I'm changing my feminine hygiene product. THAT kind of privacy is natural and perfectly acceptable in a marriage.
So here's the kind of privacy that I feel is UNnatural in a marriage....
The-  "we haven't been getting along lately, and even though you've always had complete access to my facebook, I've now changed my password, and didn't tell you about it, and when you found out, I said it was because "I'd like to be able to have a private conversation if I want to on facebook without your scrutiny'" - kind of privacy. THAT, my friends, is the kind of privacy that just doesn't exist in a marriage. Or damn well shouldn't.
Especially not in one with pre-existing trust issues.

Kids. Kids are great. I love 'em. Don't always like 'em though. I love 'em, but they break my heart. How is it that for karma? Really?

Music...
I'm retired. I'm retired. I'm retired. I'm too old. I don't have "it" anymore.
Keep telling yourself that, Crista. One day it'll sink in.
And the itch will go away. The DT's, the withdrawals, the empty hole...
Music was my passion. Now it's dogs. Once in a while it's something else.. like a new job, a new relationship, a new hobby, maybe college, or another hobby, or something else...
Nothing sticks. I have no staying power. I have no passion.

Dissidence, adversity, dissatisfaction, vexation, despondency...