tHe haPPy grOUch

tHe haPPy grOUch

Thursday, March 14, 2013

Teenagers, dog puke, and relationship woes. If none of this sounds remotely interesting, then hit the little "x" in the top right hand corner of your webpage.

Herc, our fondly labeled "ten thousand dollar dog" is sick again. Well, he was sick, he seems like he might be okay now. But we won't know for sure until after our visit with the vet this afternoon.
He's been vomiting for two days. And just this morning, I think I found the source of his troubles... a rope toy in his vomit. If in fact that's all there is, then we're damn lucky he got it up. Last time, we weren't so fortunate... $2000 later, and we got the stuffed toy out of his stomach and intestines. I swear, that dog is gonna bankrupt me...
So anyway... he sees the vet this afternoon to make sure there's nothing else going on.
Damn dog.
And even better? Last night while cleaning up his vomit, I ended up getting sick too. Weak stomach, and no one else here to help me. So, I lost my pastrami sandwich (which really hurt coming back up undigested), and ended up cleaning up after the both of us.
Damn dog.
I was able to stomach one more pile this morning, but I haven't gotten to the second one yet. Not pushing it.
Damn dog.

My daughter is suffering her first heartbreak.
The unapproved boyfriend appears to be moving back to his hometown. In California. Which of course satisfies me, as I recognize that he's not good enough, for her or to her. Logan may not see her worth, but I do. He says he'll come back and visit her. He claims they'll maintain a relationship long distance. But we all know how that will end. And Logan does too.
Unfortunately, while I am relieved, she is heartbroken. And there is nothing I can do to fix it for her. She is talking to me about it, which is good. She clammed up to me for a while recently. I'll listen, be supportive, and offer objective advice when appropriate. I am so sad for her.
Watch as she cries; cry when she's not watching.

And as Logan loses faith in her relationship, I continue to lose faith in mine.

So many "little things", done purposely and disrespectfully.
So many "little" hurts, "little" let downs, "little" betrayals...
Adding to a pile of almost three years of little things... A very large and incredibly sad pile of little things...

I have put more effort into this relationship than any other in my lifetime. I have been more vulnerable, more trusting, and more open than ever before in my years. And I've come to know myself better than ever before. And to know others. So much learning over these last few years.
I've loved more than I ever thought I had the capacity for.
This week, and the pile... that's why it hurts so much, I suppose.
So much disappointment and sadness. A deep, painful sadness..


That ain't no way to live a lifetime...